THE GRIEFGLOW MANIFESTO: WHY THIS BLOG?

This blog finds its roots in the losses of my life and my slow, stumbling, but steady path towards healing. Of all the resources I explored when I was newly bereaved and deep in grief, the most powerful ones were those that simply shared someone else's story. The least helpful were those that either tried to fix or change me, or communicated with such mutedness and sadness they seemed to make my own sadness worse. In reacting to such times, I came up with something I called the GriefGlow manifesto, which goes as follows. I am pleased to share it and some glimpses of my journey with you. So, the GriefGlow Manifesto: Because grief is never black and white. Because healing is hard enough without coloring everything around us gray. Because we're just sad, not broken. Because we are a community, even when we feel the most alone. Because a picture is worth a thousand words when we have no words to say. Because we don't need to be changed, fixed, taught, or hurried. Because being vulnerable isn't the same as being powerless. Because our story isn't over. Because the world is as beautiful as it is painful. And because though a little bit of beauty can't change the pain today, it may help us toward healing tomorrow.



Friday, February 18, 2011

LEGACY AND IMMERSION: wise words from poet Marge Piercy

I've been thinking of legacy lately for many different reasons, including the preparation for my upcoming Effortless Memoir class at the Vero Beach Museum of Art on February 26.


There are all sorts of complexities to leaving a personal legacy, and sometimes it seems that the deeper one delves into the issue of what to leave behind the more difficult leaving any meaningful legacy becomes.

But some things about legacy are simple. Including this basic but easy to overlook fact: we all leave the most powerful legacy by not worrying too much about legacy, but rather living intensely and intentionally right now.

Legacy isn't created by hedging one's bets and projecting into the future. It's created by finding something you really love or believe in, and immersing yourself there in the present.

Contemporary American poet and novelist Marge Piercy has a wonderful way of communicating truths that are at once deeply complex and gorgeously simple. Though it is not about legacies only, her poem To Be of Us is all about the immersion that creates lasting ones. "The people I love the best/ jump into work head first/ without dallying in the shadows," she writes therein, adding, "I want to be with people who submerge/ in the task..." The poem concludes:

The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.


But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.
                                    (To Be of Use copyright Marge Piercy)
I love that phrase, "the pitcher cries for water to carry." As it suggests, we are all in some sense vessels, crying out for meaning to carry and memory or wisdom to share.

Visit Marge Piercy's website to learn more about the writer and her rich, varied and enduring work by
clicking here.

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