THE GRIEFGLOW MANIFESTO: WHY THIS BLOG?

This blog finds its roots in the losses of my life and my slow, stumbling, but steady path towards healing. Of all the resources I explored when I was newly bereaved and deep in grief, the most powerful ones were those that simply shared someone else's story. The least helpful were those that either tried to fix or change me, or communicated with such mutedness and sadness they seemed to make my own sadness worse. In reacting to such times, I came up with something I called the GriefGlow manifesto, which goes as follows. I am pleased to share it and some glimpses of my journey with you. So, the GriefGlow Manifesto: Because grief is never black and white. Because healing is hard enough without coloring everything around us gray. Because we're just sad, not broken. Because we are a community, even when we feel the most alone. Because a picture is worth a thousand words when we have no words to say. Because we don't need to be changed, fixed, taught, or hurried. Because being vulnerable isn't the same as being powerless. Because our story isn't over. Because the world is as beautiful as it is painful. And because though a little bit of beauty can't change the pain today, it may help us toward healing tomorrow.



Tuesday, September 7, 2010

ONE CLASSIC, TWO WAYS

Mary Elizabeth Frye's poem Do not stand at my grave and weep is one of the world's best known poems on death and grief, having been translated and adapted to music across the world since its creation in 1932.

This isn't great poetry per se; it doesn't have the emotional or linguisitc depth of great writers on loss like John Donne or Dylan Thomas. Yet it's a powerful poem nonetheless, precisely because of that simplicity. It's timeless, and in some way place-less too, meaningful to anyone who has ever looked at nature. To me, in fact, it reads more like hymn lyrics than like a modern lyric poem. In addition to the printed version, I've given you a version of the poem sung by Welsh classical crossover artist Katherine Jenkins on her Living A Dream CD. I don't always like the result when poems are set to music; often, the language alone is more effective. But because this poem is so simple in its cadences and hymn-like in its diction, it seems to fit naturally with melody, and just as naturally with Jenkin's classical voice. 

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.

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