THE GRIEFGLOW MANIFESTO: WHY THIS BLOG?

This blog finds its roots in the losses of my life and my slow, stumbling, but steady path towards healing. Of all the resources I explored when I was newly bereaved and deep in grief, the most powerful ones were those that simply shared someone else's story. The least helpful were those that either tried to fix or change me, or communicated with such mutedness and sadness they seemed to make my own sadness worse. In reacting to such times, I came up with something I called the GriefGlow manifesto, which goes as follows. I am pleased to share it and some glimpses of my journey with you. So, the GriefGlow Manifesto: Because grief is never black and white. Because healing is hard enough without coloring everything around us gray. Because we're just sad, not broken. Because we are a community, even when we feel the most alone. Because a picture is worth a thousand words when we have no words to say. Because we don't need to be changed, fixed, taught, or hurried. Because being vulnerable isn't the same as being powerless. Because our story isn't over. Because the world is as beautiful as it is painful. And because though a little bit of beauty can't change the pain today, it may help us toward healing tomorrow.



Wednesday, June 16, 2010

SILENCE AND RESPECT


This photograph came up when I was searching istockphoto.com for images for my book Grief Country. The photographer didn't say where or when it was from, but the information wasn't really necessary. The image said it all.
For a long time after my dad's death, I kept a printout of this sign pinned to my bulletin board, to remind me of what I deserved from people there in the "real world" that felt so very distant. Silence when it came to advice, however well intentioned. And respect, for both my sadness and my underlying resilience. I didn't show the photo to anyone else. I just used it to help me stay clear. Feel free to use it in the same way if it might help you.
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